More Fat Fun

"You grow fat, already hor?" announced Iris, the woman who works the cash register at my office cafeteria.

"Really?" I was surprised. I'd been on a diet of Hydroxycut [caffeine supplements] and tofu (well, mainly) for the last few weeks.

"Ya! I see your shirt and belly; all fat already."

Slightly disturbed, I pay and only eat half my lunch (vegetables and a chicken stew - I don't eat rice at lunchtime).

The following day I brace myself for another assault on my physique. She adds up my bill and declares, "And one papaya [slice] right? I see your face and I know you want already." She's right. I did want a slice of papaya - I didn't know it at the time, but my obviously my face did, and she read it.

Back at my office I ask my boss's secretary something. She doesn't answer straightaway but then it starts.

"Wah, people saying you put on weight. Fatty hor? What you eat? All the sweet-sweet, fry-fry things, ah?"

I answer in my best Singlish, "Where got fat, leh? Where fat?" There's an edge of desperation in my voice as I plead for her to deny what she sees.

"There, lor. Your belly fat lah! You don't exercise, ah? Must exercise, don't eat all the sweet-sweet things."

"I'm not fat, and I do exercise," I tell her.

I'm annoyed now. Who are these "people" talking about my fat anyway?

The following day I'm extra hungry - maybe I'm rebelling - so I load up my tray with noodles, pumpkin and a deep-fried chicken wing. Out of nowhere my fairy godmother of anorexia pops up and admonishes, "Fat fat, hor."

[Note: This incident occurred sometime in Sept/Oct 2007 when I was in the midst of a creatine cycle. My increased bulk must have confused the ladies.]